Taya Starling

I gave up on New Year Resolutions many years ago after failed attempts to drastically change my life in whatever new year I was entering.  The long lists of short term or simply unrealistic goals that only set me up for failure before I had even begun to start were great glimpses into all the ambitions I hold for myself, but they never made it past the spring.   So I stopped making these long resolution lists and every year I pick just one thing.  Last year it was to BE PRESENT.  I didn’t share this with anyone really but I spent all year reminding myself, catching myself, holding myself to being present in each moment, each situation, each reality.  I have yet to master the art of being present, but I’d like to think I’ve come a long way in 2013.  My life has changed drastically this past year and a significant reason behind that has been simply living in the moment; wholeheartedly accepting where I am, how I got here, and where I’d like to be next.

Coincidentally I joined an international book club with some amazing, independent, intelligent women who continue to inspire and educate me everyday and the very first book we picked was The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hanh.  Among several brilliant epiphanies and life changing concepts, he strongly emphasizes the art of being present.  It’s not an easy task; it didn’t happen over night for me and I still struggle with it sometimes, but I’ve found that by simply being aware of when you are drifting into a different place rather than simply being here you can pull yourself back again quite easily.  There’s no magic formula, no complicated process, no ridiculous 12 step program to follow, you simply allow yourself to be here.

“To dwell in the here and now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibly plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly grounded in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness and concentration. You can attain many insights by looking into the past. But you are still grounded in the present moment.” ….. I read this passage over and over again and really admitted to myself how often I allow myself to be swallowed up by my worries for the future or regrets of the past… at one point in my life I would mentally scold myself and push through, now I lovingly tell myself “Hey, it’s okay.  What’s done is done and luckily the future paves the way for endless possibilities to right your wrongs and live better days.  Worrying will get you nowhere fast, the future is coming soon enough so let’s just be here now.  Make the most of right now and you won’t have any regrets later and you’ll be ready when the future comes.” And then I move on.

This is something I will continue to work on in 2014, but now that it’s become engrained in my day to day living, I’m adding my next step for the new year: I’m going to live a life that serves my highest self.

Serving your highest self, in turn, serves the Uni-verse. It’s not about being selfish, it’s about bringing out the best in yourself so that you are able to serve others. (- Elizabeth Rider)

I began consciously focusing on this goal in the last half of 2013, but often fell back to doing what I know, what I’ve always done.  In 2014 I will serve my highest self and thanks to last years goal of being present, this won’t be a tormenting journey but a nice strenuous climb, continuing up to where I want to be as the best possible version of myself.   So where will I start? In the littlest most significant ways.  By being present I will be more aware of who I am moment to moment, striving to always be the best version of myself; caring and kind, open and honest, forgiving and accepting of myself and others.  I’ve been in the entertainment industry for 16 years.  You learn very early on how toxic it can be to constantly compare yourself to others whether physically, mentally, or monetarily.  I still struggle with this.  But I can say I’ve gotten pretty damn good at just being ME with no regards for what THEY do, say, think, make.  I know that I am on my own path and I alone will reach my end goal and how I get there is also up to me so  I say yes to outside inspiration but no to those toxic comparisons.  And in the same way that I am growing mentally and spiritually I know that I am in a physical body that needs healthy good growth too so no to the toxic things that do not serve my highest self (i.e. excessive junk food, alcohol, partying, etc.,) and yes to what does serve my highest self and supplements me being the best version of me- yes to yoga, muay thai, circuit training, hiking, surfing, spending time outdoors, sleeping, clean eating.  We are each given one physical body to achieve greatness in and even if your greatest accomplishments are mental, spiritual, or monetary, you won’t achieve them if you don’t take care of yourself physically.  My dad has always told me, “Your body is a temple.  Don’t desecrate it or disrespect it.”  My mom has always told me that if I don’t serve my body I won’t be well enough to serve myself or others.  She has always reminded me that even when I’m striving for my biggest goals, any failure to take care of myself physically is an added obstacle to reaching that goal.  After all, how can you enjoy success if you’re stressed, tired, or too unhealthy to celebrate and enjoy what you’ve spent all that time and effort trying to achieve?  Live a life that serves your highest self.

So there you have it homieloverfriends.  That’s my goal for 2014.  Only I wouldn’t really call it a goal, it’s more like a lifestyle. It’s going to take time and effort and a heck of a lot of being honest with myself, but I know that this time next year I will be a better version of who I am right now.  And I can’t wait for you all to meet her.

Happy New Year (:  I hope you all find success, happiness, and love in 2014 and more importantly I hope you all remember to share these blessings with others.