Taya Starling

FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. Let me start with two things. One) I strongly dislike the acronym “FOMO” and how it’s been incorporated into modern slang. Two) I don’t simply suffer from FOMO, I also actually do just “Miss Out.”

I started working in the entertainment industry when I was 12 years old.  Safe to say I’ve missed more birthdays, weddings, graduations, and special events than all the ones you’ve celebrated combined.  I have been constantly missing out for over a decade and although I have to often remind myself that in some twisted way I am missing out on all these things by choice through my deep love for what I do for a living, sometimes it’s hard to see that through all the instagram posts, tweets, Facebook updates, the “I guess you had to be there” stories, and inside jokes that I don’t get.  So yes, I suffer from FOMO on the regular and yet I still haven’t found a way to truly come to grips with it.

You would think the better part of a decade would instill in me some sort of wisdom, some FOMO proof technique that makes missing out on other personal aspects of my life seem like just another trip to the dentist I forgot to schedule.  If only.  Instead I meditate on it and spend hours debating whether I’ve made the right choice to be where I am.  I mope.  I get cranky and frustrated.  I make myself skip over posts on Instagram only to go back and like them later because even in the frustration I want to see my friends having fun at whatever concert I’m missing out on (OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M MISSING COACHELLA 2014!)  And I go back to meditating.  And I go back to reminding myself why I’m not there; how I’ve chosen to be where I am, doing what I love.

Clearly this has become a common occurrence and often comes up in discussions with my nearest and dearest friends who amazingly always tell me that I’m not missing out on much (yeah, right.) and they wish I could have been there too (yeah, tell me about it) and they’re so proud of me over here doing my thing (I am blessed to have these people as friends).  Honestly more often than not I get tired of the repetitive feeling of missing out and nothing seems to sink in further than hearing those consoling words… so back to meditation I go.  And when that doesn’t work I focus myself in enjoying whatever it is i’m doing that day- even if it’s sitting in a coffeeshop reading.  And no not in a spiteful “Well screw them and the fun they’re having, I’m having way more fun reading this memoir while sipping on my latte art topped nonfat caramel latte”; no, that won’t make anything better for anyone.

The energy in the universe is all connected and every negative thought you put out there only poisons the environment we all share.

No, I sit back, take my deep breaths, drink a nice big warm sip of my coffee and open my book to the last read page.  (There is always solace to be found in a good book).  But every now and then the books don’t work, the nights out don’t work, the work doesn’t work, and the meditation is hard to focus.  Talking to my BFF recently about this very subject led to the reminder that other events, opportunities, celebrations, concerts, etc., will always come in my life again.  These aren’t once in a lifetime opportunities for me to be there (except in the instances when in fact they are- but let’s not dwell on that shall we, this is suppose to be a positive post).  A week later my oh so awesome BFF emailed me a link to this video.  Let’s just say it’s come in very handy and if you too suffer from “FOMO” or from actually missing out,  I think it may do you some good too.

PS I love Gabby B. If you’ve never read her books I strongly recommend them!