Taya Starling

I’m not a long term planner really.  Life has been far too unpredictable for me to really lay down a 5 year plan at any point- heck I can’t even tell you where I’ll be in 5 months let alone 5 years from now- but that has never stopped me from making plans & goals & of course, resolutions.  Resolutions for me don’t accumulate in time for New Years Eve though; I come up with resolutions regularly throughout the 52 weeks that make up a year…. in 2014 alone I came up with at least 12 that I can think of.  I didn’t stick to all of them but I tried them honest and true for extended periods of time.  Sometimes we simply don’t align with our goals.  Other times we simply aren’t ready for them.  I learned  a lot about myself in the process regardless.  For example, I went vegetarian for about 4 months- that’s huge for me since I am a meat lover and I’ve never gone vegetarian for more than a week or so.  In the end I went back to eating meat because my trainer said I wasn’t getting enough protein and I wasn’t in a situation where I could really manage my meals and protein intake.  By the end of the 4 or so months though I learned that I really can change my eating lifestyle and still enjoy life & eating.

But back to resolutions.  Every New Year as the days dwindle down and we are faced with a “fresh start” in a “new year” people seem to  use it as an opportunity to set life changing goals & resolutions. Everyone compiles a massive list of things they’ll do differently in the new year.

For me, 2014 was truly a year of self realization and development.  They say 2015 is a year of manifestation and clarity and I for one am so so ready for that.

I like picking one life changing mantra to adopt for the new year.  I’ve learned that I can’t accomplish 10 new goals simultaneously.  I’m much better when I’ve got the time and freedom to pace myself, to let the habit form without pressure, to really understand the life change I’m making.  Two years ago my resolution mantra was “BE HERE NOW” & I spent all year focusing on being more present, more focused, more mindful of the moment I’m living, who I’m with, what I’m doing, where I am, what I’m seeing, smelling, eating, hearing, feeling.  I found that when I focused on making ONE serious change daily, it would stick in a way that my little lists of 10 life changes never could.  BE HERE NOW carried over into 2014 and now into 2015.  Last year my resolution was to LIVE A LIFE THAT SERVES MY HIGHEST SELF.  If you follow me on instagram or twitter I’m sure you’ve seen me type that more than once this past year.  My inspirational quote posts on instagram are more for me than anyone else and some days I need heavy reminders on how I’m trying to live.  I think we all do and that thought alone can be comforting when I’m struggling to stick to my life resolutions.  It helps to be held accountable too.  LIVE A LIFE THAT SERVES YOUR HIGHEST SELF echoed throughout my days this past year and I really found myself taking more responsibility for my situation and actions and reactions in 2014 than most of the years before.  I’ve gone through so much personal growth this past year, it’s been incredibly empowering.  I’m carrying the power of both mantras into 2015 with me.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about my resolution mantra for 2015… I had hoped to post it before the countdown but to be honest I spent my last week of 2014 and so far my first 4 months of 2015 trying to really be honest about where I want to improve myself & the way I’m living.  There are so many things about myself that I’d like to improve- the small goals will come and go throughout the year: stick to a better workout routine, be more patient, cut down on refined sugar, be more spontaneous, travel to more places- but I need one good mantra to live out in 2015.

I waited for it to dawn on me standing with my feet in the sand on the shores of Nha Trang in Vietnam where I ended 2014 & began 2015.  I waited for it to rise in me like the sun on my flight from Asia back to California.  I waited for it to spread over me like a lover missed as I sat, home again, on my balcony watching the moon appear over the ocean.  I waited.

Then, one random day in February, in a frenzied fit of what most people would call Spring Cleaning (but what I call GETTINGRIDOFALLTHESHITIDONTNEED), I stopped abruptly and said out loud (to no one in particular seeing as I was tearing through my house alone) “If I don’t love it, I don’t have room for it in my life.”

IF I DON’T LOVE IT, I DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR IT IN MY LIFE.

That echoed through me for the rest of the day and the next and the next.  Here I am 2 months later and I realize now that this, this random thought that hit me as I exacted my dust bunny revenge, this proclamation I made to myself and no one else, is in fact my resolution for 2015.

IF I DON’T LOVE IT, I DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR IT IN MY LIFE.

The kicker? It doesn’t just apply to purging material things like my closet or the cabinet upstairs that I’ve been shoving things into to deal with later.  It applies to everything:  objects, situations, thoughts, ideas, emotions, places, people…  It’s a cleansing process.  A chance to make space in your life for the things that matter most.  An opportunity to re-evaluate and really take a long hard look at where you are, what you have, who you keep close, what you allow yourself to go through and why.  It won’t be an easy process.  The past 4 months have not been easy and I suspect there are many more obstacles ahead for me, but somehow by claiming my power in it all- my right to choose who what where how when- I am comforted.

IF I DON’T LOVE IT, I DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR IT IN MY LIFE.

2015 is my year.  Just as the year before it and the year before that.  But this year I am actively choosing what will stay and what will go.  I’m sure the decisions won’t be easy and I know I will falter here and there, but I will be trying my very best to be honest with myself, what I know & how I feel, and make my decisions accordingly.  I plan to fill my life with all things love.  After all, time is precious.  Love, and all things rooted in love, is worthy of my time & energy- everything else? I don’t have room.

epilogue.

Since finally finishing this entry, while it has been sitting in my draft box, life has been pretty intriguing.  Hearts have followed me everywhere.  My best friend gave me a heart chakra bracelet passed to her for me from an amazing (and intuitive) soul.  I found street art everywhere echoing love, heart art popping out left and right.  Hearts, hearts, hearts, everywhere.  They say the Universe has signals, signs, and messages for those open to seeing them and since drafting this post my heart and eyes have been open.  The Universe has been sending me reassurance after reassurance and I am grateful.  I am love.

IF I DON’T LOVE IT, I DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR IT IN MY LIFE.